The PJO and JB war!
by Anastasia Laurels
Summary: Funny story...My brother gave me this idea! This is my FAVORITE story! Do NOT click if you love Justin Beiber! Really, DON'T! Rated T for aggresiveness.
1. Chapter 1

**This story my brother suggested. So, don't read, unless you HATE Justin Beiber!**

Camp Half-Blood was getting ready for war. Yes. War. With whom, you say? Why, only the most obnoxious person in the world! JB! Well, JB and his fans, which it surprises Nico and Percy that he has any.

Annabeth hates him, along with everybody at Camp...except the Aphrodite girls. They claim that they're related to him, so they HAVE to help him. Ugh! They should be helping Camp, not some guy who supposedly writes songs. Try writing them in Greek!

Nico, even though he shouldn't be one to judge, says he has such a high voice, that he thought he was a girl. Percy agrees with him. Here is how they feel: Nico thinks Beiber has NO talent what-so-ever, and thinks he should die. Because he THINKS he has talent. Percy feels that he is has NO athletic ability what-so-ever. And that he DOES deserve to die for thinking he does. Nico agrees with this, and would like to add that he is SO UGLY that he needs to go back to Canada, and die in a hole. Percy sends his regards to Nico, but also says that what Nico said was a tad bit too harsh and aggresive. Nico says that Percy was correct, although what Nico said was true. Nico would like to add that he should go get beaten up by some thugs, and then go get run over with a Ford F-150. And that he looks like a Beaver, rather then a midget Beiber. Percy agrees with both statements, although Nico is a little too young to talk about those things, even if Nico is a son of Hades. Percy would like to say that, after he gets run over by a truck, he should go sell himself to some undying fans to get rid of himself. And that he should then go drown himself, and then get eaten by a sea monster. A sea monster commanded to do so by Percy. Nico would like to say that he should like to have all those things happen to Beiber, and then he should go get digested by the sea monster, and then go to Tartarus. Because he deserves it. Percy says that we should cut this part out, so that the fans don't kill them.

This is how Justin feels about these two people. Justin says that they are just jealous of his fame and fortune. And of his beautiful voice. At this point, Nico would like to add that Justin Beiber sings just like Hannah Montana. Justin says he sounds NOTHING like Miss Montana, and that Nico is a stupid kid that shouldn't insult Justin. Nico says, fine. But he also says that Justin HAS to agree that Justin sings like Alvin and the Chipmucks trapped in a blender. Justin says that Nico is a rude little boy. Nico agrees with Justin, and says that Justin should read Nico's earlier conversation with Percy. Then he can judge. Justin says that Nico is such an awful individual because he said those things. Nico would like to say that all those statements were true. And that Beiber SHOULD go back to Canada. Also die in a hole. Justin Beiber says that Nico is 100% wrong. Nico would like to add that Nico is 109,567,980,315,568,257% correct. Justin says that isn't even an option. Nico says that it is. And that it beats Justin. Justin says that he HATES Mr. di Angelo, and that he is so aggresive, and violent, that Justin isn't surprised Nico is a son of Hades. Nico would like to remind Justin that Nico can set some skeletons after Justin Beiber, and that he can MAKE Justin die. Nico also says that Nico's middle name is awesome. Justin would like to say that this statement made my Nico is impossible. Nico would like to say that Justin should check Nico's birth certificate. Justin says that this birth cerificate is invalid in Canada. Nico would like to add that Nico was born in Washinton, D.C. Not Canada. And that Canadian hospitality has no appearance in Justin. Justin says that Nico is hostile. And that Nico is very weird. Nico would like to say that Nico is leaving now, and Percy is in his place. Justin says hopefully Percy is better than Nico. Percy says that Nico is awesome, and that there is no reason for Justin not to like Nico. Justin says there is. Percy says there isn't, and that Justin is a horrible person. And that Justin needs to get a life. Or a REAL job. Because Justin's job isn't realistic. Justin would like to say that Percy is as mean as Nico was. Percy says that that's the point. And Percy also says that Justin OBVIOUSLY isn't strong enough to be a demigod. Justin says he would like to see Percy die. Percy says not as much as he would like to see Justin die. Nico would like to add that neither of them would like to see Justin die as much as Nico would. Justin says that Nico is a *censored* and should stop trying to*censored* say things like that. Nico says that Justin has a potty mouth. Percy agrees. Justin says that he doesn't *censored* care, and that if he *censored* cared, he would *censored* say so. Nico says that he wishes that Justin didn't have to set such a bad example for children. Percy agrees with Nico. Justin says that well he's *censored* leaving. Nico says thank you. Because he doesn't wish to hear Justin speak like that. Percy agrees 100% with Nico. Nico says, no. Percy agrees 109,567,980,315,568,257% with Nico.

THAT is how the war started.

**Was it good? Was it funny? Did you laugh? Please send suggestions, good aspects, and bad aspects! I'll take any kind of review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! I got like, 3 reviews within a couple hours! Way to go! Anyway, sorry the characters were a bit OOC, and that it wasn't totally 100% awesome... :) Hopefully you like this one better!**

This is Percy, Nico, and Annabeth's 1st reaction to a JB song:

Percy's P.O.V.

Nico, Annabeth, and I were sitting by the beach, listening to the radio, when the song came on. Baby, by Justin Beiber. Annabeth said, "Who in the name of Zeus is this?" The radio replied, "This is Justin Beiber, with his new amazing song...BABY!"

Then the song started playing. The lyrics were HORRIBLE! They went like this:

_Baby, baby, baby, OOOOOHHHH! That Baby, baby, baby..OOOHHHHHHHHHHH! That Baby, baby, baby Ohhh! Thought she'd always be mine! Miiiinne!_

Then, I said,"Well, no wonder she dumped you! You have an awful voice!"

Nico made a face and gagged. We laughed. Nico yelled,"THIS SONG IS AWFUL! Does the radio HAVE to torture me? WHY, Mr. Radio Guy? WHY?"

Then Annabeth said, "This song is anything BUT amazing! I'm astonished that people could even put up with this guy!"

Then Nico exclaimed, "This song could make birds die. No, scratch that. This song is SO AWFUL I don't even think I could make people listen to this in the Fields of Punishment! It would be too cruel!"

Annabeth and I told Nico, "I AGREE!"

That is how it ALL started. Then they met him and had that little argument in the last chapter...And that is how the war started.

Nico and Percy were getting ready for the war, Annabeth too, and they had their armor on in a matter of seconds. They were ready.

**Yeah, I liked the last chapter better. But that's just my opinion. Someone suggested this, so I did it! I liked the idea, by the way! But I've ALWAYS hated Baby...ABSOLUTELY HATED! Next chapter will be more war. Just FYI!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hope you like this chapter!**

After we got ready, we walked down to the agreed meeting place. Well, it's more like WE agreed, and he disagreed. But we won the rock, paper, scissors match...

Annabeth glanced at her watch. "He's late." She muttered.

So we waited...and waited...AND WAITED!

Then I said, "Jeez, he can't even show up on time!"

Just then, a poof of pink, sparkly dust was sent into the air. We all started coughing, but Nico got the worst of it. He appeared. Justin Beiber stood there, in his purple unicorn T-shirt. **(My sister's idea! You like?)**

"Why, hello!" He shouted.

"BOO! YOU STINK!" Was the great wording of the awesome: NICO!

"Wow...JUSTIN'S A GIRL! HE likes PINK!" I yelled. Loudly.

"No I'm not a girl!" He replied, "My girlfriend's SELENA GOMEZ!"

All of a sudden, Selena Gomez poofed in.

"You didn't get my text? I TOLD you that I was on Camp Half-Blood's side!" She exclaimed.

"But...but your my girlfriend.." He said with a pouty face.

"Oh...then..." She started, "It's just not working out...You're too much of a airhead!"

"WOOOO! GO SELENA!" We all yelled.

*There's a time lapse, so get over it!*

We stood there for over an hour, just fighting with him. And OH! Not with our swords, like we usually do. With words. He called me "Fish Face" and he called Nico "Underworld Guy." I realize that you realize that Nico's nickname isn't very mean-sounding. But when Nico pointed this out...he called Nico a *censored* idiot. And since I do not speak that language...I will not say it. For the sake of you kids out there.

"Oh, wow. I ALWAYS knew you had such a colorful language, Mr. Montana." Nico replied to Justin. This, was when Justin's nickname was born.

"Well, I always knew you were such a-" *the rest was cut out, due to violence*

"Oh, so the potty mouth RETURNS!"

"Can we just start fighting already?" I asked, annoyed.

"YES! PLEASE! I don't want to hear the words that belong in a toilet!" Nico replied.

And with that, we started the war.

We yelled out random comments when he cowered in fear. Which was most of the time.

"I am going to move this war, to next Thursday!" Justin said.

"Why? I thought you'd 'Never Say Never!'" Nico yelled out, randomly. But, it was at the perfect time!

"Usher wrote that! NOT ME!"

"Oh...so you've been taking all his credit the ENTIRE TIME?"

"NO! Well...not ALL the time..."

"HA! YOU LIAR!"

*To be continued!*

**Whatcha think? ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey awesome peoples! I was wondering, do you think I should put Lost Hero characters in this? If so, say so in your review! 'Cause you WILL review. Or suffer. (From JB's music.) :D I wrote this today 'cause I feel like dissing Justin Bieber, for some odd reason. And I haven't updated for an eternity. So...yeah.**

**Justins's P.O.V.**

*Next Thursday*

Today was Thursday. I immediately knew I still hadn't recovered from the last part of the war. I didn't know if I could continue with this.

Of course, I was ALWAYS ready for everything. Do you *censored* think otherwise? Ugh. People these days. They still don't realize that having an extremely high voice, means you have an extremely good voice. And that the wording to my songs are genious.

So I was walking to the "battlefield," as Nico called it. Seriously! I eman, it's like the kid was born in the 1940's!

I soon found out that all the *censored* demigods were already there. *Censored*, were they overachievers.

**Percy's P.O.V.**

So, as soon as Justin's mom drove him up in a mini-van, I knew why. Nico told me he hadn't passed his driver's test. And he cried over it on the streets.

What a baby!

Apparently, Justin's mom thought he was a baby, too. She nearly screamed when she saw all of us. She ran up and hugged Nico. Nico looked like he was about to strangle her, and yell, "I don't need a hug! For the last time, I am NOT an emo!"

Then she shouted, "Oh, my gosh! I can't believe Camp Half-Blood really is real! Can I help you guys? I want to be on your team!"

"Mom! What are you *censored* saying?" Justin asked, annoyed.

"Justin, you know we don't use that language in public." Justin's mom said, sternly.

"But, MOM! You can't HELP these people! They're savages!"

"Justin, honestly, I've told you a hundred times. You really aren't THAT good at singing!" his Mom just said.

"Ohh-ho-ho! I think Mr. Montana just got dissed by his own Mom! GO MRS. BIEBER!" Nico yelled.

"Well, it's true!" she said, with a smug look on her face.

We high-fived her, and she said that she was Percy's biggest fan. How ironic. We're all Justin's worst enemies. Huh.

**Okay, I know it was short and uninteresting, but it's something. I've kept you guys waiting for too long!**

**FLAME ON!**

**~Laurels~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow. I got 2 reviews in 2 minutes. That's progress! **

**Well, I decided to make another chapter. You know, 'cause you guys rock too much. And because I have a sudden interest in hating Justin Bieber. (Maybe it's because I had to listen to Radio Disney in the car...)**

**Justin's P.O.V.**

I can't believe my own Mom had the *censored* nerve to do that to *censored* me! I mean, I'm too awesome for that!

I am so gonna get those fiends for that!

Oh, by the way, everything just got worse. The enemy side just got 3 more recruits. There was even a Roman!

Their names were Piper, Leo, and Jason. Piper was a daughter of Aphrodite (although on _their_ side. She must be a daughter of Aphro_dope_, not Aphrodite.), Leo was a son of Hephaestus, and Jason was a son of... uh... The *censored* Roman version of Zeus.

Leo seemed odd. He was overly-hyper. I mean, nobody should be enthusiastic about hurting me! Nobody. Period. He also seemed... different. I mean, he was fire-resistent for *censored* sake! (And I know by experience. I saw him go through white-hot flames that I created.)

Piper seemed different, too. But only different from the Aphrodite girls, not the whole group. She seemed to hate make-up, she hated pretty clothing, and she hated my beautiful self. **(A/N How could she? :O)**

Jason seemed... confused. He looked like somebody had stolen his memories!** (A/N Get outta town! That's ridiculous!)**

Anyway, the worse was still to come.

**Leo's P.O.V.**

This was the best day of my life. EVER!

Today, not only did I see Justin Bieber's own Mom against him, I saw him have a nervous breakdown.

I was running across the fields, with my hands filled with fire, and one of my hands swept over Justin's head.

The point? His hair caught fire. **(A/N If only it happened in real life. 8O)**

The hilarious thing? Instead of stoppping, dropping, and rolling, he took out his phone, and dialed 911.

He said, "Yes, this is Justin Bieber... I have a Justin Biebs hair emergency!" He looked toward us with a surprised expression on his face. Like he was on a super hero TV show, and he had just defeated the Joker. You know, the "Good vs Evil" face.

Soon, an ambulance arrived. But instead of "Ambulance" or some hospital written on the side of it, it had "Justin Biebs Hair Emergency Vehicle" written on it. I cracked up with the rest of the Camp.

Hair stylists hopped out hurriedly from the van, and sprinted to Justin Bieber. They knelt beside him, and started washing his hair.

We just kept laughing at how ridiculous this was. He just kept talking about how he would throw a fit if he couldn't do the Justin Bieber hair flip anymore.

I took that as a joke, as always. I flipped by hair around, with an exasperated expression on my face. Everybody laughed harder.

And we kept laughing until Justin used his potty mouth to get us to stop.

Nico shouted, "Hey Mr. Montana! Are you a "Baby", or what?"

We cracked up again, and his face turned redder than the fire I can summon.

**Anyway, I thought you guys deserved it. The "Justin Biebs Hair Emergency" is my trademark joke, but you guys can use it. 'Cause you're awesome. :D**

**FLAME ON!**

**~Laurels~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey Guys! I know this isn't exactly a chapter...(sorry 'bout that!) but This fanfic has recently been nominated to the best PJO fanfic in Humor. You see, I don't have ANY votes yet, except for mine. Which was for me. (I'm pathetic, I know...) I'm honestly worried that all those Beliebers are out to get me...**

**So, anyways, if you think that this fanfic is the funnier out of the two, you can vote for me (and hopefully help me attempt to win!) at this URL: (take out the spaces!)**

**h t t p : / / p j o f a n d o m a w a r d s . w e b s . c o m / v o t e . h t m**

**I REALLY NEED HELP YOU GUYS! SOME TOUGH COMPETETION! AAAAGGGHHH! PLEASE I'VE NEVER WON AN AWARD! HELP!**


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